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Jeffrey L Hoffer, 805 Divorce and Family Law Attorney

805-449-4290

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Why You Need To Have Therapy Regularly When You Are Getting Divorced - Read Here!

Many people liken divorce attorneys to therapists.  In truth, that misconception came from TV shows and movies.   Here are a few other myths:

1. We are all like Arnie Becker from LA Law and we try to sleep with our opposite sex clients;

2. We are all like Arnie Becker from LA Law and we try to sleep with our support staff and associate attorneys.

3. We all have fully stocked bars with premium spirits. (Note: I have Arrowhead water and bottles of San Pellegrino sparkling water here!).

4. We are pseudo psychotherapists.

5. Your divorce is my fault.  That's like blaming your relative's death on the undertaker (but I digress).

Sure, you can talk to me about your life and your personal troubles.  I will gladly listen from across my desk as you tell me about your cheating spouse and that you want to get back together but he/she won't.  You can tell me all about your sexual escapades (revenge on the spouse who cheated on you with someone 20 years younger- yep that really happens).   But I have no professional solutions for those issues.  Therapists do.  In fact, a good therapist is about a third of the cost hourly than me.   But here are more reasons why you should have a regular therapy appointment if you are divorcing:

1. Divorce is like death.  The end of a marriage is the death of a dream.  Many people really do take those marriage vows seriously, 'till death do us part.   Well, this is a death.  It is the death of your marriage.  Therapy will help you with the grieving process, even if you were the party who wanted the divorce. You will also discover that there is a good and bountiful life waiting for you after your divorce.

2. You are a rational and sane human being:  I have a saying about people going through a divorce.  They are good people at their very worst.  That is you and you need to get back on track to be the best person you can be for yourself and your children.   You need to stay strong! One of the great misconceptions about therapy is that it is for "crazy people".  Therapy is not for crazy people.  Therapy is for people who have to deal with crazy people and crazy situations. Once you participate in therapy, you will become more centered and you will be in a better position to deal with your divorce more effectively.

3.  You will come to grips with your part in this mess:  Therapy is for people who want to grow and learn. You will learn that you are not blameless for the situation you find yourself in, but you will learn and not repeat the same mistakes.  This is a tough time in your life.  We learn the most when we experience the most adversity.   You will see yourself and the world differently.  You will make better decisions.  You will also make a better choice when you are ready to settle down again.

So what are you waiting for?  Call your shrink today!!

Jeffrey Hoffer

I am a Divorce and Family Law Attorney located in Westlake Village, CA. I have been in practice since 1993. In 2008, I was named one of the Top Ten Most Dependable Family Law Attorneys on the West Coast by GoldLine Research and published in Forbes Magazine.

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